I wished to share these raw emails with you in the spirit of “It gets better” since I can tell you for sure that Sawyer moved with this phase as well as now he’s a pleased toddler. While I expected that the third time through, mothering a newborn would be easier, frankly, it was not.
Out of the 380 emails I composed to Whitney in the very first two months of my infant Sawyer’s life, only about four expressed my true emotions as well as challenges. The rest were an getaway from my reality: inside jokes, freelance composing pieces for her review, as well as planning outings. When I composed about the end of the fourth trimester in a blog publish last year, Whitney accused me of glossing over the difficult stuff. I lastly had the courage, much more than a year later, to checked out these electronic journal entrances as well as am beginning to agree. I pasted them below.
Week 1 update
The very first week is a truly raw time. I don’t want to see anybody who is not pre-approved to see me leaky as well as topless. So, that’s a short list. very first week of a new baby, highs as well as lows:
High. This bit man is pure cute. I am so pleased to have him in my life as well as am identified to delight in these early days as well as moments since they are so fleeting. They should be fleeting; after all, I have a four-year old as well as a six-year old as well as am sure they started out like this!
Low. OMG, the boobs. I’m not one to talk about breastfeeding since I don’t want past as well as future bosses picturing me this way, however OMG. The concerns as well as fears of “there’s not sufficient milk” while I wait on him to lose 10% of his birth weight complied with by the unpleasant engorgement of “I might feed the whole community with this stuff” as well as just ouch. Breastfeeding hurts! Yes, I’m doing it more-or-less right, however ouch.
Low. The swelling. The sheer size of my feet, ankles, calves, as well as all the method up past my knees because of pregnancy water retention topped off with IV fluids from my birth as well as I was persuaded I was in kidney failure. I almost inspected myself into the ER.
Low. having two huge young boys full of curiosity as well as germs. I like that they like him however I worry their pokey bit fingers. The very first night home, my (now) middle child woke up three times screaming from fever as well as ear infection. The off-hours were punctuated with Sawyer’s own sleeplessness.
21-day update
Dr. states he may have an allergy to something in formula or my milk. very first step is to supplement with different formula. If Sawyer doesn’t show enhancement in a week, I have to try a much more radical elimination diet. She likewise joked that he didn’t get the memo
about being a much more laid-back 3rd baby. Lactation specialist has me nursing in full recline at least 11 times a day from both sides. 22 times a day of boob.
Ten bucks states I have to provide up dairy.
7-week update
At night, he is a writhing kicking screaming bit demon whose shrieks are driving me quickly insane. in some cases it starts at 8 pm as well as I question if we ought to just all go to bed. Last night I nursed for 2 or 3 hours to prevent his crying. After 1 hour 15 nursing, he went best back I to it. I tried to text Alec to beg him to find house from his night out. with my own sobbing, my feeble message of “soon please” didn’t get sent. Regardless, he’s so freaking exhausted, he was already on his way. When he turned into our lawn on his bike, he might already hear Sawyer screaming. as well as we were in the back of the house.
WTH, I fed him again. one more 20 minutes had passed. Besides, I reasoned, I desired him to sleep long as well as well. After briefly nursing him into a doze, we laid him in his small crib across the room. as well as cuddled. Them, after about 7 minutes, the dance began once again with Alec as the frustrated partner. 90 minutes later S was screaming as well as A put himself in a time out.
By day, he’s pleasant. We’ve gotten some lovely smiles as well as a few consolidated naps.
I’m changing to decaf.
18 week update
I don’t understand what happened. After 16 weeks of two or much more wake ups as well as a trip where I believe we woke up 3 times a night, Sawyer slept with the night. Alec went in to make sure he was okay. When he had a few freak nights with a single wake up, we made sure not to talk about it since the one guideline about STTN (sleeping with the night) is that you don’t talk about STTN.
My screamy infant is now a boisterous wackadoodle young child who runs to me with a big smile as well as sleeps with the night (knock wood). I’m delighted to report, he gained lots of weight after scaring us that he wouldn’t, as well as I drink coffee again.
It gets better.